Announcing the Sad Claude Awards for 2008:
Best Film
In Bruges
Best Album
Only By The Night (Kings of Leon)
Best Gig
Crowded House - Sherwood Forest Pines
Best TV Show
God on Trial - BBC
Saturday, 20 December 2008
Friday, 12 December 2008
Kings of Comedy
I was musing today on which are the greatest TV comedy shows of all-time. I am positive not everyone will agree with my selection, but in no particular order, here are some of my favourites:
Wednesday, 10 December 2008
Gun Nuts
Texans. How we love 'em.
This quote is taken from a Texas gun store's website (the incorrect spellings and poor English are left in):
"Now that America has voted in the most Liberal Gun Hating president in the history of the USA, be prepared for the worse possible nightmares to happen. With the possibility of Obama hooking up with the UN in the world quest to wipe out the sale of small arms and setting the old Clinton assualt ban back in place. Guns such as your semi-automatic 22 : Model 60 Marlin, Ruger 10/22 or even your Remington 1100 would be added to the ban list. Dont set idley by. Join the NRA, GOA or some other group that has lobbying power to preserve your 2nd Ammendment rights."
And these people form the most powerful nation on earth. Luckily, most Americans are not like this at all, and hopefully neither is the new President. Please, Mr Obama, don't set idley by...
This quote is taken from a Texas gun store's website (the incorrect spellings and poor English are left in):
"Now that America has voted in the most Liberal Gun Hating president in the history of the USA, be prepared for the worse possible nightmares to happen. With the possibility of Obama hooking up with the UN in the world quest to wipe out the sale of small arms and setting the old Clinton assualt ban back in place. Guns such as your semi-automatic 22 : Model 60 Marlin, Ruger 10/22 or even your Remington 1100 would be added to the ban list. Dont set idley by. Join the NRA, GOA or some other group that has lobbying power to preserve your 2nd Ammendment rights."
And these people form the most powerful nation on earth. Luckily, most Americans are not like this at all, and hopefully neither is the new President. Please, Mr Obama, don't set idley by...
Christmas Is Coming
It is that time of year again. Ho ho ho. Time for a pre-season ditty
A week away from Xmas hols
And work is such a slog.
I'm getting quite impatient
For my chocolate yuletide log
I will try to make the best of it
No meetings please - I'm bored
Just one more final thing to say
Happy Christmas all, from Claude
A week away from Xmas hols
And work is such a slog.
I'm getting quite impatient
For my chocolate yuletide log
I will try to make the best of it
No meetings please - I'm bored
Just one more final thing to say
Happy Christmas all, from Claude
Monday, 8 December 2008
Friday, 5 December 2008
Oh Boy, George
So, it seems that George O'Dowd is going to jail for tying a male escort to his bed. O'Dowd is, of course, better known as Boy George.
He may be quite overweight now, an escort-abuser and former drug addict, but I like to remember him in his 80s technicolour peak.
Say what you will, Karma Chameleon is still a classic.
He may be quite overweight now, an escort-abuser and former drug addict, but I like to remember him in his 80s technicolour peak.
Say what you will, Karma Chameleon is still a classic.
Sick But Warm
Hooray. I looks like we have finally got our central heating working. At least, it seems to be OK, who knows how long that can last.
It took nearly a whole day of fussing and fixing with the plumber and boiler repairman, but so far it appears to be doing its stuff.
Sadly, it wasn't in time to stop me developing some kind of bug. My throat is raging and swallowing is difficult. I am not even enjoying the cup of coffee I am drinking right now. Every gulp feels like I am swallowing a mouthful of pins.
Woe is Claude.
It took nearly a whole day of fussing and fixing with the plumber and boiler repairman, but so far it appears to be doing its stuff.
Sadly, it wasn't in time to stop me developing some kind of bug. My throat is raging and swallowing is difficult. I am not even enjoying the cup of coffee I am drinking right now. Every gulp feels like I am swallowing a mouthful of pins.
Woe is Claude.
Wednesday, 3 December 2008
Brass Monkeys
Bbbblimey iiiiiit's ccccccold aaaaat tttttthe mmmmoment.
The freezing temperatures are not helped by the fact our boiler is on the blink. It turns off every 5 minutes, meaning when we return to the house or get up in the morning the whole house is like an igloo.
Roll on summer...
The freezing temperatures are not helped by the fact our boiler is on the blink. It turns off every 5 minutes, meaning when we return to the house or get up in the morning the whole house is like an igloo.
Roll on summer...
Tuesday, 2 December 2008
Overheard
I heard a group of teenagers debating where in the world McDonald's have restaurants.
One, obviously sharp individual, commented "Well, they definitely have 'em in America 'cos I saw one once."
McDonald's in America? Nah.
One, obviously sharp individual, commented "Well, they definitely have 'em in America 'cos I saw one once."
McDonald's in America? Nah.
Thursday, 27 November 2008
Driven To Distraction
It is my company's policy to send all company car drivers on a defensive driving course.
I had put it off for too long, so today I trotted down to Nottingham looking forward to seeing lots of videos of car crashes and idiotic driving.
It wasn't quite like that. We actually had to drive while someone made notes and then pointed out all the things we had done wrong. It was like taking my test again.
Then, at the end, we had to drive for about 30 minutes and give a commentary and what we were doing and could see. This didn't include criticising other drivers, laughing at women parking or abusing old people crossing the road. I was at a complete loss.
I had put it off for too long, so today I trotted down to Nottingham looking forward to seeing lots of videos of car crashes and idiotic driving.
It wasn't quite like that. We actually had to drive while someone made notes and then pointed out all the things we had done wrong. It was like taking my test again.
Then, at the end, we had to drive for about 30 minutes and give a commentary and what we were doing and could see. This didn't include criticising other drivers, laughing at women parking or abusing old people crossing the road. I was at a complete loss.
Tuesday, 25 November 2008
Is It a Bird?
I am quite a big fan of the first two Christopher Reeve Superman movies and was slightly disappointed with Bryan Singer's Superman Returns.
However, if this story were ever to happen I might feel a tingle not experienced since the epic and wonderful Lord of the Rings trilogy...
However, if this story were ever to happen I might feel a tingle not experienced since the epic and wonderful Lord of the Rings trilogy...
Friday, 14 November 2008
Children In Need
OK, it is a worthy cause and I am not denying that the charity deserves the money it raises.
However, the TV "feast" we get subjected to, year-upon-year, leaves me feeling like tearing my eyes out and sticking them in my ears to spare me the horror.
This is just a sample of the "spectacular" events gracing the BBC this year. I quote:
"The cast of the Bill do the jailhouse rock at Sun Hill in their tribute to the Blues Brothers."
"Gok Wan shows the residents of Coronation Street How To Look Good Naked in Weatherfield, followed by live music from Girls Aloud and Leon Jackson."
"East meets West as the cast of EastEnders put on a showstopping West End musical spectacular from Albert Square, and there's an exclusive performance from Take That."
Awful. Just painfully, painfully awful.
However, the TV "feast" we get subjected to, year-upon-year, leaves me feeling like tearing my eyes out and sticking them in my ears to spare me the horror.
This is just a sample of the "spectacular" events gracing the BBC this year. I quote:
"The cast of the Bill do the jailhouse rock at Sun Hill in their tribute to the Blues Brothers."
"Gok Wan shows the residents of Coronation Street How To Look Good Naked in Weatherfield, followed by live music from Girls Aloud and Leon Jackson."
"East meets West as the cast of EastEnders put on a showstopping West End musical spectacular from Albert Square, and there's an exclusive performance from Take That."
Awful. Just painfully, painfully awful.
Thursday, 6 November 2008
Nothing Stays The Same
I was in Sheffield the other day, mooching around and just killing time.
I ventured onto a street where there used to be a couple of good record shops and thought I could burn some minutes there.
No such luck. The stores (independent and with a good mix of music) had both gone. Lots of other stores had disappeared too and all that was left were some tacky-looking theme pubs and lots of coffeee shop chains.
It was all rather sad.
I ventured onto a street where there used to be a couple of good record shops and thought I could burn some minutes there.
No such luck. The stores (independent and with a good mix of music) had both gone. Lots of other stores had disappeared too and all that was left were some tacky-looking theme pubs and lots of coffeee shop chains.
It was all rather sad.
Monday, 27 October 2008
Gridiron
I am a fan of American Football and have been since the 1980s. I was lucky enough to see the first International Series game in London last year between my team, the Miami Dolphins, and the New York Giants.
The second of these games in London was played last night, with the Saints defeating the Chargers in a cracking game. I didn't get to this one - as I am not a fan of either team and I have already seen the Chargers play two years ago in the US.
I am hoping that the game next year will feature a team I have an interest in, as it was a great occasion.
The second of these games in London was played last night, with the Saints defeating the Chargers in a cracking game. I didn't get to this one - as I am not a fan of either team and I have already seen the Chargers play two years ago in the US.
I am hoping that the game next year will feature a team I have an interest in, as it was a great occasion.
Poorly
Sat at home today after coming down with a stomach bug on Saturday night. It is the sort you can't shift and it kept me up most of last night. So, I called into work to say I wouldn't be in - something I always hate doing. I always feel like I should put on a weak sounding voice, to show I am really ill. But, it always ends up sounding as if I am faking it, even when I am not.
Monday, 20 October 2008
On The iPod
Current Mix on my iPod:
Stay With Me - Faces
Jacqueline - The Coral
Laid - James
Panic - The Smiths
Building a Mystery - Sarah McLachlan
Video Killed The Radio Star - The Buggles
Wish You Were Here - Pink Flloyd
The Thrill is Gone - BB King
Freewheel - Duke Special
'Tis rather splendid.
Stay With Me - Faces
Jacqueline - The Coral
Laid - James
Panic - The Smiths
Building a Mystery - Sarah McLachlan
Video Killed The Radio Star - The Buggles
Wish You Were Here - Pink Flloyd
The Thrill is Gone - BB King
Freewheel - Duke Special
'Tis rather splendid.
Friday, 17 October 2008
I Make No Comment
A Christian being interviewed on the radio this morning made the following statements:
- Dressing a child up as a witch to celebrate Halloween is evil.
- God hates it when we don't accept Him into our lives. If we do not accept Him into our lives we will face eternal consequences.
Thursday, 16 October 2008
Battle Of The Bands
A list of bands/artists that I regard as being rather good. I would not say I am a massive fan of all of them, but have at least enjoyed one or two albums down the years.
In no particular order:
I could go on. But I won't. For now.
In no particular order:
I could go on. But I won't. For now.
Friday, 10 October 2008
Smarty Pants
Smart cars are weird little things. I am not a fan personally, but I have to admit I love their new line.
This Smerrari would be perfect for getting around town without getting laughed at (much):
This Smerrari would be perfect for getting around town without getting laughed at (much):
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